You work out of a Hotel?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
