Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
