He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
