when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
