so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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