Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
