I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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