Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
