No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
