ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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