Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize