We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize