didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
