I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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