Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i will never coherently bang her
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
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