An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
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