im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
