Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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