She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
