I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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