You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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