I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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