We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
