does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
