I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize