There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
