Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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