Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
