What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
