I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize