I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
