my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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