is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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