I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
