Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize