similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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