Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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