this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
