It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you will always have a special place in my vag
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize