Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
