Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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