Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
