i wish my penis had a tongue
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
