Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
