nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
