is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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