it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
