no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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