I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
