Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
