Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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