Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i think i just lost a toe
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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