do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
