I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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