I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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