32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
