wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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