They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize