I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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